It's amazing where Bull will show up. He was a hired goon for a lot of spaghetti sci-fi flicks wasn't he?
i still have not disclosed the # of stars, i'm just using "fucking" stars this time [img]smile.gif[/img]
It's amazing where Bull will show up. He was a hired goon for a lot of spaghetti sci-fi flicks wasn't he?
He's been in a lot of low budget stuff... but not like this... NOT WITH WIGS!!! [img]eek.gif[/img]
...*decides it would be best not to mention how this film figured into a third-rate demonic sorcerer's lame attempt to seize control of this plane of reality...nor how every one of you pathetic mortals should get on yer knees and kiss my hairy ass for saving you from this fate...* [img]graemlins/bat.gif[/img]
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Not until you shave that hairy ass!Originally posted by -Dark Angel-:
...*decides it would be best not to mention how this film figured into a third-rate demonic sorcerer's lame attempt to seize control of this plane of reality...nor how every one of you pathetic mortals should get on yer knees and kiss my hairy ass for saving you from this fate...* [img]graemlins/bat.gif[/img]
How about "Back From Hell", DA? Started watching that one last night... The filmakers saved a lot of money by not hiring any actual actors...
Also known as "Shiver" and because of that i ended up owning it twice... [img]graemlins/hmmm.gif[/img]
Alright, see if you can follow this one...
There's these kids who like to sing this horrible pop song and break dance wearing all kinds of kooky 80's clothes running around singing:
"Dance with me Dance with me!" (guitar riff)
"Dance with me Dance with me!" (guitar riff)
"Dance with me Dance with me!" (guitar riff)
"Dance with me Dance with me!" (guitar riff)
"Dance with me Dance with me!"... oh, it just goes on like that...
So anyway, these kids are on a train... The SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUL Train! Literally... these kids are on this cosmic train singing and dancing their little hearts out and God and The Devil are in the next car somehow not being annoyed enough by the kids to call the porter and have them thrown off at the next stop... And God and the Devil are even able to concentrate enough to play chess and discuss the souls they're gonna reap.
Then Bull from Night Court shows up, but he's got hair and works in an asylum and likes to dismember people and do things to women and then there's this suicide cult where they all get together and play different versions of Russian Roulette and then Bull comes back, but he's not the same character cuz he has different hair, kinda, and he's some kind of famous doctor, and there's stop-animation monsters edited in pointlessly and Nazis too at some point and Cameron Mitchell and John Phillip Law and it's really all like footage 5 different movies mixed togther to form a cohesive story except it's not cohesive at all and they threw in the director's break-dancing son's band just to make him a star....
Now just get down on your knees and thank whatever power you believe in that it didn't work.
This makes my top 5 worst films of all time list. 10 fucking stars!
The End
<font color="#cd6600" size="1">[ April 06, 2004 12:47 AM: Message edited by: Joranthalus ]</font>
It's good to know how fruitful your evening was. Here I am watching a rerun of TechTV and eating cold ham.
Wow - not only did it rate the best (or is that worst) rating, it also diverged from the previously " # stars out of undisclosed amount of stars" scale of bad!
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